Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Ryan Adams Raps...I'm not kidding

Visitors to Ryan Adams' web site are now greeted with a Star Wars-influenced menu soundtracked by Mr. Adams keeping it real ... or something. Here are the lyrics thanks to Stereogum:
"Look Who Got A Website" ©Ryan Adams | Barland Music 2006

Awwwwwww shit.
Look who got a website.

That's right.

Dot com.
What the fuck.

CHORUS: Welcome to RyanAdams.com motherfucker

New York City it's up!

CHORUS: Mix masters please report to the dance floor

Staten Island.

Ancient Sumerians
Anna Sarriss...
Ohhh shit.

Well if I could get around to my rhymes
Then I could destroy galaxies
of alt.country wannabees
With a bottle of whisky
And a wizard and a mime
Until then?
Dot com motherfucker!

CHORUS: Welcome to RyanAdams.com motherfucker

New York City!

CHORUS: Mix masters please report to the dance floor

Staten Island
Yo!

CHORUS: Welcome to RyanAdams.com motherfucker

Anna Serris ohhhh

CHORUS: Mix masters please report to the dance floor

Anna Serris you out of this world
like ancient Sumerians
apparently we came from ancient Sumerians
they came down and gave the world a bunch of technology
because they wanted to clone themselves and that was
and maybe be on the Earth
and get some some stuff that they needed
for their planet
but then they had to split
so they went to another planet
we stayed here
and now we just yell at each other
and have milkshakes
Hi Anna

CHORUS: Welcome to RyanAdams.com motherfucker

Awww shit Anna Serris

CHORUS: Mix masters please report to the dance floor

You a g-g-g-g-genius

CHORUS: Welcome to RyanAdams.com motherfucker

Kevin Bacon was a cock!

CHORUS: Mix masters please report to the dance floor

Well up these streets are digital roads
Goin into your mind like if you think it was your nose
and your nose was sucking coke and drinksin E
Trippin' too hard and gotta be
What was a dezzin Kevin Bacon
Makin Waterworld 3
They ain't even made 2 yet
Yo that was Costner partner

CHORUS: Welcome to RyanAdams.com motherfucker

kevincostner.com what the fuck?

CHORUS: Mix masters please report to the dance floor

two thousand and three

CHORUS: Welcome to RyanAdams.com motherfucker

updated by witches

CHORUS: Mix masters please report to the dance floor

This website's updated by witches
witches
witches n' me
weird witches
roll about and leap
with their hair on fire
and their nails long
and they're screaming at animals and people
and they're going crazy
and they need to take a break from recording

CHORUS: Welcome to RyanAdams.com motherfucker

Aww shit - it's a long record.

CHORUS: Mix masters please report to the dance floor

c-c-c-c-c-c-critics

CHORUS: Welcome to RyanAdams.com motherfucker

One and a half stars yeah!

CHORUS: Mix masters please report to the dance floor

Aww shit
One and a half stars
3 records sold
my record went balsa wood
in Indio or someplace that I'm not from
you know what I'm saying man?
And then the guy goes "This record is very long and sappy.
Basically he's alternative country but crappy."

CHORUS: Welcome to RyanAdams.com motherfucker
Mix masters please report to the dance floor
Welcome to RyanAdams.com motherfucker
Mix masters please report to the dance floor

Welcome to RyanAdams.com motherfucker
Mix masters please report to the dance floor
Welcome to RyanAdams.com motherfucker
Mix masters please report to the dance floor

WTF?

This is sure to fuel haterz' fire for the man and his over-the-top persona, but don't lie to yourself: this shit is pretty funny, if only for the utter ridiculousness. Look for Ryan to release two albums and leak about four discarded sessions next year, approximately 75% of which will be excellent. (Same ratio as Return To Cookie Mountain, btw.)

Ryan Adams- Born Yesterday
from Destroyer Sessions

Ryan Adams- Helpless (Neil Young cover, with Gillian Welch)


Ryan Adams- Jeane from Jacksonville City Nights B-sides

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